Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
