I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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