I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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