So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
