Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you had me at cake vodka
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
