Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
