Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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