I want to walk on stilts...naked
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
