I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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