Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
