never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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