He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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