When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize