I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
