we have officially lost it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
