she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
