She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize