My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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