he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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