what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
