I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
