4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
