Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
