There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
