You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
