break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My hand turned me down
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
