just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
