I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
