so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
