I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
