her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
