Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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