She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
