This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
