i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize