I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
