I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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