I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
