Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize