I wannas sexs uuuuu
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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