he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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