hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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