I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
