she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
