I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
