Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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