I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
