i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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