there's paper in my vomit.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
