If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
