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Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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