Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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