I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize