We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
