I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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