barbara walters just said penis...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize