I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
