Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
