I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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