so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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