im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
