Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
