id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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