sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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