I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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